Looking around, I wonder how folks can just keep moving forward when my life has come to a dead stop. Still reeling from the loss, I try to move about my days as if nothing has changed, but everything has. My fragile mind cannot keep up with the pace I am used to – there is no more hustle in my bustle, no more pep in my step. The air has been let out of my sails.
Yesterday, November 29, 2018, marked 6 months since my husband – my best friend – left this earth.
Yesterday, November 29, 2018, marked 6 months since my husband – my best friend – left this earth.
 | The fogginess in my mind was heavier than usual. Awake by 5:30am, getting work done, my second alarm went off at 7am. But I couldn’t recall why I had set it. I checked the clinic schedule and saw that my first patient didn’t arrive until 9:30am so I kept working. Then the text came – “The first set of scores are underway”. It had completely slipped my mind that I was to be at the lab at 8am. The rest of the day was no better as I dragged myself from one task to the next. Sorrow, fear, longing, regret, guilt – oh the guilt! Emotions swirl. Bolstered by the cheery jingle of the Christmas music that has infiltrated the airwaves. Caregiving is difficult. Grief is devastating. I have been told it gets better with time. Hoping that time comes soon. |
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