Jeff would have turned 59 today. It’s not a particularly interesting number and not typically considered a milestone. But for him, it would have been major. One more year to notch on his belt, but also potentially another year of suffering.
Two weeks ago, I took my first vacation since Jeff passed away in May. Decided to leave the country. Traveled to Costa Rica prompted by a friend who had lost her husband 4 years ago last week. It was a bit weird; I wasn’t quite sure how to feel. There was guilt, loneliness, sadness, joy… relief!! An entire gimmish of emotions. So many folks asked “Are you traveling alone?”
Two weeks ago, I took my first vacation since Jeff passed away in May. Decided to leave the country. Traveled to Costa Rica prompted by a friend who had lost her husband 4 years ago last week. It was a bit weird; I wasn’t quite sure how to feel. There was guilt, loneliness, sadness, joy… relief!! An entire gimmish of emotions. So many folks asked “Are you traveling alone?”
During this trip, I had time to reflect on how meaningful my relationship with Jeff was and still is to me. Gave thought to how I wanted to honor him with both my life’s work and my life’s play. He always wanted me to have fun!! However, I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that his birthday was approaching! What was I going to do??
My plan was to arrive home Tuesday to allow a day of recovery prior to my busy clinic on Thursday. Unfortunately I ended up spending Wednesday reviewing references for a book chapter. Completely exhausted on Thursday evening, I decided to celebrate Jeff’s birthday by heading to the Superbowl to support our team -- GoPats! The drive there was intense and laborious; traffic at most major cities on the way down to ATL from Winston Salem. The vendors would not sell me a single ticket – they needed to sell 2 or more to keep seats together. But finally someone said they were interested in a single and we paired.
My plan was to arrive home Tuesday to allow a day of recovery prior to my busy clinic on Thursday. Unfortunately I ended up spending Wednesday reviewing references for a book chapter. Completely exhausted on Thursday evening, I decided to celebrate Jeff’s birthday by heading to the Superbowl to support our team -- GoPats! The drive there was intense and laborious; traffic at most major cities on the way down to ATL from Winston Salem. The vendors would not sell me a single ticket – they needed to sell 2 or more to keep seats together. But finally someone said they were interested in a single and we paired.
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As I took my club level seat in the Mercedes Benz Stadium, I had tears of joy streaming down as I thought about how much he would have enjoyed the experience. I wore Jeff’s Hightower shirt over my Brady shirt to make me feel as though he were there with me. I waited for my ticket partner to come to thank him for buying the other seat, allowing me to attend. He never showed. It was my sign that Jeff was truly right there with me.
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