Ashley and Karen; Christmas 2018. Yesterday was the first Christmas in 16 years that we spent without, Jeff. When my husband passed away this summer, I hadn't anticipated how challenging the holidays would be. My daughter, Ashley, and I decided to travel to avoid spending the week in NC. We hoped a trip away from the familiar would reduce the pain of missing Jeff. However, sitting here looking out of my hotel window, not certain what our plan for the day will be, there is so much that reminds me of him. In fact, this is exactly what the 3 of us always did!! Our family Christmas tradition was to wing it!
When I was a child, my parents did not celebrate Christmas so I had no family traditions associated with the holidays. In medical school, a colleague was kind enough to invite me to her parents’ house in Brookline, MA to spend the holiday. Despite their efforts to make me feel welcomed and a part of the festivities, there was no personal context, so I felt like a complete intruder.
Our 1st Christmas @ Jeff's house - 2002 Similarly, Jeff didn’t speak much of Christmas with his family; things changed after his grandmother died. I suppose there is always one person who holds the family and its traditions together. When Jeff and I married, it was like we were two blank canvases – and we were left to create our holiday traditions together.
So in true renegade fashion, we had no real holiday tradition. One year we would travel, the next we would serve dinner to the homeless, and many were spent with great friends and extended family. But perhaps the most memorable Christmas holidays were those where we just hung around the house in our pajamas, sipping whatever yummy beverage we designed as we gazed into the fireplace all aglow. Sometimes keeping it simple is the best way to create lasting memories.
So in true renegade fashion, we had no real holiday tradition. One year we would travel, the next we would serve dinner to the homeless, and many were spent with great friends and extended family. But perhaps the most memorable Christmas holidays were those where we just hung around the house in our pajamas, sipping whatever yummy beverage we designed as we gazed into the fireplace all aglow. Sometimes keeping it simple is the best way to create lasting memories.
 Christmas in the Bahamas 2005 |  Christmas in Boston w/best friends 2009 |
Serving Christmas dinner to the homeless at the Salvation Army with Abundant Life Church, Cambridge MA 2015
Hoping that whatever your seasonal traditions are, you have a joyful and merry celebration with the ones you love.
Happy Holidays!!
Happy Holidays!!
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