Yesterday, November 29, 2018, marked 6 months since my husband – my best friend – left this earth.
The fogginess in my mind was heavier than usual. Awake by 5:30am, getting work done, my second alarm went off at 7am. But I couldn’t recall why I had set it. I checked the clinic schedule and saw that my first patient didn’t arrive until 9:30am so I kept working. Then the text came – “The first set of scores are underway”. It had completely slipped my mind that I was to be at the lab at 8am. The rest of the day was no better as I dragged myself from one task to the next.
Sorrow, fear, longing, regret, guilt – oh the guilt! Emotions swirl. Bolstered by the cheery jingle of the Christmas music that has infiltrated the airwaves.
Caregiving is difficult. Grief is devastating.
I have been told it gets better with time. Hoping that time comes soon.